Rickety the Raccoon’s post game presser

Photo by Ron Soliman

RICKETY RACCOON: Ya know I saw my opportunity and I took it. I was behind the bench of those blue humans and there was an opening so I was able to accelerate into that space. I thought there may have been some crab fries out there on the field, but wouldn’t ya know, there was only grass. Why the hell were all those humans running around out there for anyway, there wasn’t even a hot dog on the field for them to eat. Anywho – Ratatatattricckkkkkk – sorry heh – just saying hi to one of my raccoon mates passing by there. Where was I? Oh yeah then some humans tried to put a trash can on me. Really? A Trash can?! Seems a bit like raccoon based profiling. But I stumped that chump with the ole Rickety Raccoon shuffle and left him in my dust.

PSP: There was a moment out there where you had paused about 25 yards out from NYCFC’s box, what was your plan then?

RR: Oh well- I was thinking about taking a dump on the field, would’ve been better than the Union’s performance so far in the game, but turns out… I’m a shy pooper even in front of only a half full stadium.

PSP: They nearly caught you with the first trash can attempt. Any injuries there?

RR: *scoffs* injure ole Rickety? Perish the thought, I mean they could’ve just thrown a pretzel in there and I would’ve gone right in, but since they were trying to play rough with me… Well ole Rickety’s not one to shy away from a scrap I can tell ya that much baby!

PSP: What’s next for you Rickety?

RR: Listen, I know when I’m not wanted. They usually try to put a trash can on you. So I’m thinking I gotta take my talents elsewhere, like 11th and Pattison.


  1. Saw a good meme: “I heard there was trash here”

  2. well played.

    probably the best way to deal with a 4 game skid and dark skies ahead. let us embrance our raccoon savior.

  3. I saw some folks had named him Raquinho.

    • Peanut Gallery says:

      Love it

    • Eric Boyle says:

      That’s on his trading card!

      He is internationally famous!

      First regular season game I miss, and it featured a soon to be enduring Union legend. I don’t recall seeing the chase on AppleTV either.

  4. Great to get this post game interview! Too bad he feels unwanted! Was definitely the game highlight!!

  5. paulcontinuum22 says:

    Hey, sign him up; he’s better than half of the current lineup. As the U crash and burn, they made Stephen Colbert’s talk show monologue last night.

    They won’t make the payoffs at this rate, buy hey, at least the U made late night TV as the joke they have become. We fans deserve better than this.

  6. No lie: there’s Topps trading cards for him on eBay

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