Daily news roundups

Mwanga, Rooney, racism, scandals: Round-up time!

The round-up begins with a pair of strikers who have big decisions ahead of them.

After a Rookie of the Year caliber first season in MLS, Danny Mwanga is getting the early recruitment from the country of his birth. The Democratic Republic of Congo has asked Mwanga to join the national team. Mwanga is working his way towards U.S. citizenship and has refused to make a decision on his international future. In related news, the Philadelphia Union refused to sell Mwanga, Le Toux or McInerney to my Liverpool squad in FIFA11 because they are “foundational players around whom we wish to build for the future”. Well played, computer-generated Sakiewicz.

The other striker mulling over his future is Manchester United beauty Wayne Rooney. The squat scouser has had a year of peaks and valleys. After scoring more goals in the EPL last season than he had in the previous two years combined, Rooney was a non-factor at the World Cup. While the dip in form came at an unfortunate time, Rooney’s fall from grace was far from over. Allegations surfaced that the England striker had an affair with a prostitute while his long-time (and remember, he’s only 24. So long time probably means “only”) girlfriend Coleen was pregnant. There has been little to substantiate the rumors thus far, but Rooney was obviously distracted at the start of the domestic season. Now it appears Rooney has been planning to leave Manchester United since the summer. No word yet on whether the Union will table a designated player bid for Lil’ Wayne.

Italian club Cagliari have been fined 25,000 euros after their match against Inter Milan had to be temporarily halted due to unending racist chanting. The abuse was aimed at Inter’s Cameroonian striker Samuel Eto’o, who is currently the most on-form player in the world. Eto’o responded by scoring the winner, but couldn’t celebrate with his family since he no longer brings them to Italian matches. Because of the racist abuse. That’s disgusting. Does it get more disgusting? Why, yes. Yes it does. Cagliari’s President Massimo Cellino was asked about the chants. He said: “I didn’t hear any such chants. I absolutely did not hear them. At Cagliari we have never been racist. I think there must have been a mistake.” Referees make a lot of mistakes, but seriously? Completely denying it? Cellino went on to say that he knows where all of the nuclear development sites in Iraq are hidden and yeah, he was there for Woodstock and it was even better than you heard. You should have been there. What a jerk.

Speaking of jerks, the head of Russia’s World Cup 2018 bid, Alexei Sorokin, noted London’s high crime rate and high rate of alcohol consumption among English youth in comments about the rival bidder. That’s right. Russia criticized London’s crime and alcohol consumption levels. This is a really tough one to wrap your head around, I know. Russia, of course, is the country that can’t solve the murders of its journalists even when they receive threats and are working on stories against specific individuals. It’s a country where the President is currently seeking stricter laws on alcohol sales because the level of consumption threatens the already declining population. London is no Garden of Eden, but Sorokin picked two hilariously ironic issues to highlight.

FIFA is promising to get to the bottom of their growing vote-selling scandal. What’s the deal with internal investigations? Is there any real reason why they should work? I just can’t fathom how this goes down. “Hey, there might be a big issue with people in our organization taking money in exchange for enormous favors. But don’t worry. We’re going to pay a guy to find out what went down and report back to us. A wink? No, I just have a fleck of gold in my eye. It must have blown off my centaur’s harness.”

BBC Sport gives a list of the voting members of FIFA. American member Chuck Blazer (who stole my MMA name) has 392 followers on Twitter. Make it 393 as soon as I finish writing this.

The bad news keeps on coming. A South African official who alleged that there was rampant corruption involved in building Mbombela Stadium was poisoned to death.

New Liverpool owner John Henry promised to “spend wisely” during his first media exchange. How much myrrh will it take to bring a real winger to Anfield?

I know, I know. This has been a rather depressing round-up. But if there is one thing that can start a day off right, it’s this: SPECIAL1TV IS BACK!!!!!

Real Madrid v. AC Milan highlights today’s Champions League fixture list. This is one of those matches that will only be exciting if someone scores early.

3 Comments

  1. If US Soccer manages to screw this up and lose Mwanga to Congo, I will be organizing a good old fashion, torches and pitchforks Sunil Gulati hunt. All are welcome to join.

  2. Columbia Dave says:

    Your writing is brilliant, sir. This stuff is sickening. If soccer wants to truly fit in with America’s largest sports, it doesn’t have to maintain a similar seedy underbelly, does it. So sad. On a happier note, The Special One is back? Be champions!

  3. You would think that it would be easy for Mwanga. Congo can’t have much of a team. Choosing to play for Congo is essentially exiling yourself. With regard to racism, it’s a sad fact of sporting life in southern Europe. It still persists there. There was talk that Mario Balotelli of Man City was going to get crap at Juventus during their Europa League match.

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