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FIFA: Now with 50% MORE EVIL!

Anyone who follows soccer as passionately as we who populate this site have no doubt been incensed by FIFA. Whether it is the corruption scandals, short-sighted decision making, egomania or selective morality when it comes to issues of race, gender and sexual orientation, we all have our own bone to pick with FIFA.  At times it’s almost too much to take from the governing body of the world’s favorite game.

When those times roll around, (and they do with a saddening, increasing frequency) we here at the PSP have developed a fun game to distract ourselves.

We make up new slogans for FIFA. And we would love your help.

Did you know that FIFA creates an official slogan for every World Cup?  This year’s Women’s World Cup is known as “The Beautiful Side of 2011.”  Last year’s World Cup in South Africa earned the moniker, “Ke Nako. Celebrate Africa’s Humanity”. These are all well and good (if not a little vague), but they don’t seem to speak to the true essence of the organization that hosts them.

Here are a few to get you warmed up…

FIFA: Say NO to racism.  Say YES to homophobia.

FIFA: Would you like $40,000 with that?

FIFA: We’re lying and it shows.

FIFA: Where discrimination is hierarchical.

FIFA: Pope-grade infallibility.

There are many ways to play the game.  You can take a famous slogan, perhaps:

UPS: What can brown do for you?

Insert a now infamous FIFA scandal. In this case, the alleged bribery of officials for their World Cup votes with bags of cash and PRESTO! CHANGE-O!

FIFA: What can Brown Paper Bags do for you?!?!

or there’s the long-form variety:

Maxwell House: Good to the last drop

mix in a little Koman Coulibaly, and…

FIFA: Bad to the last horrifyingly inept refereeing decision that’s seeks to keep a superior team from achieving victory.

However you play, it’s fun for the whole family!!!

So, as the PPL Park announcer would say (rather than just finding us someone who could actually sing), “We want to hear you!!!”

Lets see what you got.  Funniest/cleverest slogan will receive a hearty slap on the back from your friends at the PSP.

11 Comments

  1. Can we also create a Mascot to go with the slogan, for extra credit? I mean, how’s Karla Kick grab ya? http://www.frauenfussball.diplo.de/Vertretung/frauenfussball__wm__2011/en/04__WM/Maskottchen/Karla__Kick__en.html “She symbolizes the unparalleled skill and passion of women’s football, a thrilling and highly entertaining game.

    Like all cats, Karla Kick is by nature very curious. And although she can’t talk, she is very good at interacting with fans on a non-verbal, emotional level. Being the official mascot of the FIFA Women’s World Cup Germany 2011(tm), she is well aware of her huge responsibilities as an ambassador for the host nation Germany and its people.”

    Umm, WHAT?!

  2. FIFA: I saw noth-ING! (ala SGT Schulz)

  3. Adam Cann says:

    FIFA: Fighting corruption with opera singers.

  4. FIFA: Our internal investigations reveal we are still awesome!

  5. FIFA: All your wallets are belong to us.

  6. FIFA: Self policing is the ultimate solution.

  7. FIFA – Where our Blatters are full of it!

    • Ooooh, good one … and in the same vein.

      FIFA: Needing copious amounts of antibiotics to cure our Blatter infection.

  8. Other Cann says:

    FIFA: There are some things money can’t buy…just kidding.

  9. FIFA: When in doubt re-elect the same president that put you into doubt and do not let anyone run against him.

    kinda long but oh well

    FIFA: We guarantee you will not like our refs!

    FIFA: Less training for refs equals more money to pay off voters.

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