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Soccer for Union scabs

Even when it doesn’t count, Messi is stunning. Look at that pass! It is impossible not to hit that ball too hard or too soft. I’m officially calling him Young Skywalker. That pass? It’s nothing! He used to bullseye womprats in his speeder back on Tatooine.

In the summer, Napoli sold goalscoring machine Di Natale and signed Edinson Cavani, fresh off his performance as the third best striker on the Uruguay squad. I immediately texted my friend Phil and made fun of him. Boy, do I feel stupid now. Cavani has been a revelation. He led the way over Juventus with his head, scoring three. The third was the best.

Theo Walcott, also known as the flash of brilliance occasionally showing up on the right side of the Arsenal lineup, apologized for diving late in the FA Cup match against Leeds on Saturday. Here is the dive.

And here is 101greatgoals.com’s list of sportsmanship displays greater than Walcott’s poor display.

Lost in all the hubbub over the Ballon d’Or is the awarding of the Puskas, which goes to the scorer of the best goal of the year. Ferenc Puskas, of course, is the Hungarian superstar who scored at will during his club and international career. 84 goals in 85 international matches. That. Is. Amazing. This year’s award went to Hamit Altintop, who decided that a corner kick to the top of the box was the perfect time to unleash a vicious volley into the top of the Kazakh net. Because why the hell not.

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