Chris Seitz raises his hand and apologizes for letting that softie in against KC this weekend. Philadelphia soccer fans everywhere ask that he raise that hand when the ball is floating over his head next time.

Peter Nowak offered words of support to the Union number one, but also criticized him for failing to step up and make the big save. Nowak did say he still believes in Seitz’s ability to make the crucial stop. “I also believe in unicorns and that Jesus tamed the dinosaurs,” Nowak continued.

A great video of Union fans chanting “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall” at Wizards manager Peter Vermes, a man recently arrested for a DUI.

Phanatic mag wonders if this weekend was finally Nowak’s breaking point with Seitz.

Aston Villa is proving good to their word by appointing a proven top flight manager to take over at Villa Park. Former Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier is expected to be appointed this week. When reached for comment, Bob Bradley’s fans wondered how Aston Villa would succeed without a helmsman who understands American players and the unique shittaaaaay American youth system. The rest of the world said, “Oh you mean the youth system that produced…” then trailed off dramatically and high-fived under the table.

FIFA has arrived in the U.S. – presumably on a nuclear powered yacht financed by the last World Cup’s revenues – to evaluate American potential for a 2018/22 World Cup bid. A decision will be made on Dec. 2.

Apparently FIFA wasn’t spreading their growing wealth around the office. There are reports that World Cup ticket buyers have had their personal information, including passport info, sold on the black market. FIFA is blaming a rogue employee. The international soccer body admitted it will be tough to identify the employee since they currently do not use replay on their office security cameras (BOOM!)

Jay Demerit, probably the least maligned of the Americans playing defense in South Africa, may have been approached by former England manager Steve McLaren’s Wolfsburg. The Bundesliga side has had an eventful start to the season, already having blown a four goal lead once.

Liverpool’s board of directors dug through their coat closet and found their cajones in the old gym bag underneath their brother’s winter coat, and immediately moved to block owners George “stupidhead” Gillette and Tom “muffinbutt” Hicks from using any more of Liverpool’s assets as collateral for the Americans’ debts.

A quick round-up of Euro 2012 qualifying action. Highlights include: 1) France lost to Belarus. 2) Italy came from behind to beat Estonia. 3) Fernando Torres is getting healthy and scored two goals, including a delicious chip, as Spain beat Lichtenstein. 4) Montenegro beat Wales. 5) Hamit Altintop scored a freakdiculous goal as Turkey took the first step back to the international stage with a 3-0 win over Kazakhstan.