Photo: Earl Gardner

Before Monday night’s Gold Cup match, MLS Commissioner Don Garber unveiled his traditional two picks for the MLS All Star team.

The MLS All Star team, for those new to the party, is a squad that is evenly split between “guys who the league thinks will draw TV ratings” and “guys who are just hanging out in the city where the game is being held.” (For category 2, see Farfan, Michael, in 2012.)

This team then takes on a European club team in the middle of its preseason. The game is usually entertaining. No matter the result, it will exactly confirm your preexisting opinions about the relative quality of MLS and the importance of the match. Everybody wins.

Given this background, I found it hard to get too worked up about the commissioner’s selections of Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard. Sure, they’ve played exactly zero minutes in MLS, and it does make the league look pretty silly. Ridiculously silly, even.

Union picks

But, in fairness, I do think I could have done better than the commissioner. So, if I were Don Garber, here are the three (Union-only!) pairs I would have considered:

Antoine Hoppenot and Dzenen Catic
Between them, they have appeared in four minutes of MLS action so far this year, making them perfectly qualified for the team. And — unlike Gerrard and Lampard — they’re relatively unknown. Tottenham might overlook them, a decision that will prove costly when Catic notches his first, second, third, and fourth professional goals.

Rais Mbolhi and Andre Blake
If what the league wants are monster ratings, then it needs to set up a game where a lot of goals will be scored. In that case, there can be only one choice for MLS goalkeeper.

Blake, meanwhile, qualifies under the “has not played any MLS minutes” provision of the All-Star Roster Rules (which, incidentally, are 246 pages long and subject to change by the league office at any time).

Chaco Maidana and Vincent Nogueira
No jokes here. Just look, one more time, at the gorgeous third goal against Portland. (I doubt I have to do much to convince you to click.)

Nogueira and Maidana are the Union’s two best players, and they’re in the top of the class in MLS. They should be All Stars.

Challenged by Jim Curtin to score more goals, Nogueira has responded in a big way in 2015. His five goals are, already, the second most goals scored by a Union midfielder in a season. (Someone named “Gabriel Gomez” scored six in 2012. Not sure where I’ve heard of him recently.) And among those five goals is perhaps the most important goal of the season — the late winner against NYCFC that pulled the team out of its early-season tailspin.

Of course, the goals tally is almost secondary to Nogueira’s primary skill-set as the Union’s engine. His pesky defense, efficient distribution, and intelligent movement have been key to almost every Union victory this season.

Maidana, meanwhile, ranks merely second in the league in assists, and he’s done it in fewer minutes than anyone else in the top ten. A player whose fitness and form has frustrated at times, Maidana has grown into a tactical role that suits him. Combined with his tremendous understanding of the players around him, his silky passing has sparked the Union assault. (Not to mention his divine free kick goal against New England.)

As these two go, so do the team. And so would any team in MLS, if they were gifted with this midfield tandem.

Respect the fans, respect the players

Has this exercise all been somewhat silly? Yes. All-Star games in every sport are basically silly, and they’re an excuse for fans to spend some time arguing over the relative merits of players.

The shame of picking Lampard and Gerrard is that it destroys even the pretense that selections for the game are based on merit. That’s a disservice to the fans, and to the players.

While Steven Gerrard was getting red-carded in 45 seconds and blown out by Stoke City, Nogueira and Maidana were performing admirably, game after game, while the rest of their team struggled to keep it together around them. Now, off their best performance of the season, their reward is to have two spots on the All Star team sucked up by English interlopers.

If the league is going to keep growing healthily, MLS needs to better balance the desire for All Star spectacle with respect for its fans and players.

The league used to have an “Inactive Roster” for the game. Made up of players chosen by their fellow peers, this group was seemingly announced as an afterthought — the players weren’t even invited to the game itself.

Maybe it’s time to bring that back, with a bit more prestige.

Anything to give deserving players — like Chaco and Nogs — the recognition they deserve.