Fans' View

Fans’ View: Heart of Deuceness

Photo: Garen Meguerian

Saturday was an interesting day in the life of an MLS fan and by extension, a Union fan. Here’s what it was like to be me with the news that my favorite USMNT player might be headed back to our glorious shores.

3 pm: Randomly reading the news on the MLS MatchDay app, my eyes light up when I see “Tottenham Hotspur announce transfer of USMNT captain Clint Dempsey to MLS.” Brain melting.

I immediately ask myself five questions:

  1. Could this be real? YES.
  2. Why would they announce it and it not be real? No Clue.
  3. Where is he going? Probably not to the U.
  4. Is it possible that he could be coming to the Union? Possible—YES.
  5. Do I dare to dream? OF COURSE.

3:10 pm: Furiously text news to friend and mention Seattle as rumored destination. His response: “They are so lucky.” Still a rumor, maybe we could be lucky too! Joy and hope swell in me uncontrollably. This can only end poorly.

5:30 pm: Depart for PPL Park. My mind is in two places: GO UNION and PLEASECOMETOSAVEUSCLINT. I couldn’t help but think about the possibilities. Clint and I hanging out downtown, Clint scoring 50 goals for the Union and carrying us to MLS Cup mania, Clint and I grilling in the backyard. The future was bright.

For reasons unbeknownst to anyone, myself included, I neglect to check the news in the intervening time, which simply allows for my brain to wander.

6:30 pm: I inform the two ladies I’m seeing the game with that Dempsey is coming back to the MLS. They are both very excited by the prospect. We all agree we will immediately buy Dempsey jerseys once he is signed by the Union. Full-on delusion.

7:22 pm: A double rainbow appears over the Delaware River. TWO RAINBOWS. TWO=DEUCE. Simple divine math. That rainbow CLEARLY means that the Union have signed Clint Dempsey and we now have the finest attacking player, maybe, in US history on our roster. This day couldn’t be any better! You can have your Henrys and your Beckhams. We’ve got a real American hero!

7:58 pm: Ruben Amaro Jr. is announced as honorary captain and receives a solid round of boos from the fans. I immediately think they will follow this up with the announcement of Clint Dempsey as the newest member of the Union to reverse the polarity, Ghostbusters-style.

8:01 pm: Kickoff. No announcement.

8:02 pm: Doubt arrives like an unwanted house guest.

8:15 pm: Union start sluggishly, almost as if they are dazed by some enormous news announcement. Maybe, I say to myself, they are just sandbagging so they can announce Dempsey’s arrival at half time and blow the doors off this place.

8:20 pm: Realize I haven’t submitted my #stadiumtweet for the match and rapidly come up with “DOOPle Rainbow all the way,” which I’m sure will make the screen, running my total to three straight games. (Is it bad that I see this as a real accomplishment?)

9 pm(ish): Play resumes. No #stadiumtweet. No Dempsey. Doubt consumes me. My mind begins to spiral through every scenario. I find myself mumbling under my breath, and my eyes dart uncontrollably. Have I gone mad? Was the roller coaster of this Dempsey madness too much for me?

10 pm(ish): Union fall 2-1 to Chicago Fire on a Mike Magee goal. Clint Dempsey is announced as the newest member of the Seattle Sounders. The mumbling has given way to a kind of resigned apathy. I live to fight another day. I guess.

Author’s note: Some of this MAY have been exaggerated for effect.


  1. Fun read, Seth. However, I think you may have hurt your credibility by admitting that you actually thought the Union would have the cash or intestinal fortitude required to sign the Deuce!

  2. Seth Finck says:

    I had credibility?!


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