The Philadelphia Union previews just keep getting better. Oh you didn’t come here for a rant? This is me not caring:

“Despite [Le Toux], the franchise still lacks a high-wattage designated player who can attract national or even international attention. No one will insist on a David Beckham or Thierry Henry, but Union fans won’t be happy with a DP-less squad indefinitely.” (Emphasis added.)

The Union have a rabid and exciting fanbase. What exactly do we need the “nation” or the “internation” for? Was David Beckham an MVP candidate last season? Was Thierry Henry? No. Philly likes winning. And hard work. And, I don’t know, maybe a little more research and fewer sentences that seem randomly assembled. Put the XBOX controller down, write a real preview. This can’t possibly get worse…

“Unfortunately the “Bimbo” logo clashes with the rest of the shirt—an obvious result of the jersey being designed before the team knew who the sponsor was. While the club should be proud to net a large, respectable sponsor with a solid soccer tradition, it’s safe to say the name will give opposition fans plenty of ammunition.”

Huh? Wait, what was the title of this article again? “Five Keys for the Philadelphia Union in Year Two.” And which key was this? “That Shirt Sponsor.” No, this can’t be real. A soccer-specific website would never accept a team preview that listed a shirt sponsor as a key to the season, along with “Attendance” (what?) and “Winning”. Winning is a key. In a literal sense, I guess this is true. But there is no reason to publish this supposed key. I could ask a team of 5-year olds for keys to soccer if I wanted “Winning.” And at least they’d think of something else better than “That Shirt Sponsor” for another key. I’d accept “Goals,” “Fun,” and “Capri Sun” before I’d take the shirt sponsor. A certain “journalist” owes me some laps…

For anybody planning on traveling to Houston for the season opener, make sure to get tickets in the Budweiser Party Zone. That gets you into the pregame tailgate FiestaMart Fajita Cookoff in the Robertson Stadium parking lot. Fajitas. Soccer. Winning.

Seriously, though, friend of the PSP Guido Gaeffke says that if anyone is deciding to travel to Houston for the match, they should call Christina at the Dynamo at 713-276-7582 for tickets and ask to sit with other Union SOB Supporters in Section 225 around row AA. Guido says, “Tickets are only $25 (and if you haggle $17). Looks like we’ll have around 20 of us there.”

The Union’s website talks with Sebastien Le Toux. I forgot he won the Fair Play award too. Man, that guy is so invited to my birthday!

More news on Le Toux: The Inquirer reports that he will have an MRI on the ankle tweak that kept him sidelined in Greece, but the man himself says he will be ready to play Saturday.

In the same report, Peter Nowak is cautiously optimistic about the Union’s playoff chances, telling the Philadelphia Inquirer, “I think we can be a contender for the playoffs.” He added, “I am using the word contender just to be sure, because in our league you never are going to be sure” (emphasis in the original).

The Houston Chronicle thinks that Will Bruin will get a chance to start for Houston against Philly. Bruin was on many a Union fan’s radar as a possible #5 pick in the SuperDraft. He ended up falling to #11 where Houston traded for the right to draft him. He has six goals in preseason including a wicked brace in the Dynamo’s final warm-up match.

The Courier-Post has a nice article looking at the big hopes for MLS as it grows towards a 20-team league. Just a few quibbles here: Brian Carroll is not part of the “Who’s Back” group for the Union. Brian Perk probably shouldn’t be in the “Who’s Not,” since he has been on another team for quite some time. Jordan Harvey is a defender, not a forward. And yes, Danny Califf is the captain of the team, but that does not mean his position is “C”.

The Portland Timbers will play in Jeld-Wen Stadium. On Tatooine?

Lichaj extends loan his loan deal with Leeds.

Over 50,000 tickets have been sold for the USA/Argentina friendly in Chicago later this month. Argentina announced a roster that includes Lionel Messi and Ezequiel Lavezzi. Don’t expect to see too much of Barca’s little genius though, he was injured agianst Sevilla over the weekend and Barcelona will campaign hard to keep him out of the friendly.

The90thMinute emails Grant Wahl a bunch of questions about Charlie Davies. Wahl answers them.

On March 15 , 1947, Neil McBain took the field for New Brighton AFC. He only 51 years and 120 days old. He played goalkeeper and gave up 3 goals, but let’s be honest here: Still badass.

Brian Phillips wonders why Bojan Krkic can’t find the field for Barcelona. Let me add that Bojan is welcome on any team I follow. The kid is amazing.

And finally: Happy Birthday, Liverpool. You just keep getting weirder.