Today’s news is in no particular order. I call it Cannian Motion.

The Vancouver Whitecaps chose to pick first in the MLS SuperDraft after winning a coin flip with their expansion buddies Portland. This means Portland will get first choice of unprotected players in the expansion draft. I’m not saying the Union should leave Fred and Moreno unprotected, but if Jack Mac, Okugo and the rest of the teens who haven’t gotten enough PT are left out in the cold, this is just the trailer to a much longer future rant. The Union grabbed Le Toux in the expansion draft and selected Danny Mwanga first overall in the SuperDraft… if the Union had to make this choice, which way would you want them to go?

World Cup organizers in Rio have issued statements assuaging the fears of realists who continually point out that Rio is a pretty unsafe place for thousands of drunk soccer fans to gather. Here is a very basic rule: If the headline reads, “Organizers say ______ is safe despite _______,” the place in question is not safe. It’s like when I say, “Alejandro Moreno is… I don’t want to say an over-the-hill diver… but he’s not really the player he once was,” I’m saying he’s an over-the-hill diver.

Frank Glase of the NJ Star-Ledger wants to know why more former US National team players aren’t coaching. There is a very simple answer to this: The United States – from its youth system up to its national team – is still not very good at fundamental and tactical soccer. This was clear in the World Cup, when our first choice defensive pairing was often caught too far up the pitch and when our top choice strikers struggled to control the ball with their first touch (sorta essential). Step #1: Youth coaches: Don’t do conditioning drills without a ball. All kids should be kicking a ball at all possible moments.

The Union are looking for fan votes to get a $50,000 Pepsi Refresh grant to build youth soccer fields in Chester. Everything about this is awesome, although I wonder why the fields have to be natural grass? Doesn’t that virtually guarantee that they’ll end up like every other soccer field in Philly? Overused, roughed up and run down?

A review of American performances in foreign leagues last weekend.

Eddie Johnson did not play for Fulham over the weekend, but he says it’s time for him to make his mark in England. Still time to transfer to Blackpool, EJ.

I always bash Brian Ching, so I have to give him his due when he shows off: Ka-Ching dropped a hat trick on Chicago over the weekend and earned himself player of the week honors.

The Boston Globe discusses the rise of the NY Red Bulls and what it means for MLS going forward.

5 things learned in WPS this weekend: Philadelphia is featured, but for the wrong reasons (Damn you, Sky Blue!)

AllWhiteKit has a rundown of the USWNT’s friendly matches leading up to this year’s Gold Cup. The big news is an October 6 showdown against China in PPL Park.

Transfer News

Landon Donovan did not move.

In the most surprising news of the day, Bordeaux are selling the best French player in the world (I’ll stand by that even though I’ve been told I look like Franck Ribery) Yoann Gourcuff to Lyon. Bordeaux will be an interesting team to watch in Ligue 1, as the Gourcuff sale means they are without their two most effective offensive players from last season. Chamakh has a goal in two games for Arsenal.

In well-duh news, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is set to join AC Milan after spending a season getting in Leo Messi’s way every time the best player in the world cut in from the right flank. Ibra’s move means the Inter/AC Milan matchups this year will be can’t-miss affairs.