Honey, does this shirt make me look invisible?

Sorry for bringing up France/Ireland again, but here is the official Adidas press release about those skintight jerseys France wore when Henry basketball dribbled around the Irish and threw William Gallas an alley-oop dunk.
The TECHFIT will be the official World Cup jerseys for Adidas-sponsored teams and, if the press release be believed, anybody sporting this shirt would stand a good chance against Iron Man in a fight, or at least in a soccer match.

– Increases a player’s power by 5.3%
– Increases vertical leap by 4%
– Increases sprint speed by 1.1%
– Enhances endurance by 0.8%

So if my calculations are correct, I can buy a TECHFIT jersey, then drink approximately 5.6 beers and 7.2 hot dogs at the Flyers game tomorrow and not lose a step on the field Saturday. Thanks, Adidas!