I’m telling you, the trophy is this big!

Barcelona winger/striker/wunderkind/noted mullet Lionel Messi won the Ballon d’Or on Tuesday. Messi is the best of the Argentinian young guns who will be stumbling into South Africa under the cocaine-residue-fueled guidance of national hero/mess Diego Maradona. Behind Messi’s emergence as the sport’s best player*, Barcelona captured the league title, the league cup and the Champions League title. Messi led the team in overall scoring (38) and in Champions League goals (9).
Messi received only seven points less than the highest possible score a player can receive from the Ballon d’Or jurors (European footy journalists), an outstanding total from any perspective. What makes this achievement even more stunning is that four of the top five vote-getters were Barcelona players.
Remember how everybody said Al Gore would have won in 2000 if Ralph Nader hadn’t split the vote? Messi had four teammates trying to split his vote and he zipped by them like they were wearing Manchester jerseys in a final.

*Best offensive player. As with all Best of… and Most Valuable… awards, the offensive-minded players get the most props. As the BBC article linked above correctly notes, Messi was given a lot more freedom when Barcelona purchased Dani Alves in 2008. He runs the wing and allows Messi to hold his nose to defensive responsibilities without looking like a poor teammate (cough-cough Cristiano). Who was the best defensive-minded player last season? Any nominations?