Lescott and I both clench when nervous
Man City 2-1 Chelsea
Wearing the Irish green only a few angry hours after France drew a weak World Cup group, Shay Given took out his anger on Alfalfa Lampard. After Didier Drogba earned a penalty kick with a fantastic body feint and trap in the box, Given guessed correctly and parried the ensuing shot before kicking it away. It is safe to assume that moments later Ireland manager Gio Trappatoni received a call from Fabio Capello asking if he knew how hard it is to etch the three lions onto Given’s passport.
Tottenham 2-2 Everton
Capello should also ring Steven Gerrard’s voicemail, telling the Liverpool captain that he is taking all of England’s penalties this summer because it seems like no other English player wants the responsibility. With the game tied late, Jermain Defoe strode to the spot after Palacios was body-tackled by Brian Dawkins Tony Hibbert. Defoe placed his shot low and down the middle, AKA right where the goalie stands. Even though Tim Howard dove right he was able to kick the ball wide. New strategy for the US against England this summer: Foul them in the box?
Portsmouth 2-0 Burnley
Portsmouth players were not paid for the second time this year. Although you might assume that they were unpaid because of their play, that’s not how it works. Stop being mean. Although they lost to Manchester United last week, Portsmouth looked an energized squad under new coach Avram Grant. They maintained that energy against Burnley for a well-deserved win.
Arsenal 2-0 Stoke City
Reports that Stoke manager Tony Pulis and striker James Beattie fought in the postgame locker room.
Aston Villa 3-0 Hull City
Jozy Altidore played 54 minutes and recorded one shot and one offsides. Brad Friedel continues his top form with a shutout.
Blackburn 0-0 Liverpool
Dirk Kuyt is a very effective striker for the Dutch national team and a very, very poor lone striker for Liverpool. The Dutch national team has playmakers in the midfield, Liverpool has Lucas Leiva.
West Ham 0-4 Man Utd
Wigan 2-3 Birmingham
Wigan is less consistent than Phillysoccerpage’s posting, but at least we’re improving.
Wolves 2-1 Bolton
Fulham 1-0 Sunderland
Clint Dempsey was kept off the scoresheet but played an influential role for Fulham. He’s the engine of a team that consistently overachieves.
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