November 15th, 1964*
Johan Cruyff debuts for Ajax
The greatest European footballer of all time** scored on November 15th against GVAV. Cruyff was seventeen years old and he was better at soccer than everyone you know combined and multiplied by the national deficit. If you know anybody from Europe who watched soccer in the late sixties and early seventies, ask them about Cruyff. He is a legend and while all the stories you hear about legends aren’t true (for example, it isn’t true that I slayed a mighty dragon at the summit of Mount Olympus. That would be ridiculous. It was a monstrous centaur with laser-eyes pretending to be a dragon), Cruyff is the rare footballer who was capable of such stunning performances that his skill can only be accurately described by an old football fan gazing disbelievingly into the bubbling memory-screen of his beer as he recounts a leaping backheel-flick goal (see 0:30 mark below) that doesn’t even give physics a parting gift as it shuffles out the door, defeated.
If you don’t play soccer, use the handy Philly Soccer Page American Sports Translator below to get a feel for how incredible this goal is:
Basketball: Michael Jordan scoring a goal with his head.
Baseball: Michael Jordan getting a hit (he really sucked at baseball)
Football: Like this but using your feet.
*I know today is November 16th, but Philly Soccer Page didn’t exist on the 15th so you’re just going to have to pretend everything is OK like us Liverpool fans do every day. What? No, I’m not crying. It’s allergies!
**Not debatable. But I’m more than willing to participate in a fake-debate in the comments. First person to say “Cristiano Ronaldo” loses.
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