Photo: Earl Gardner

Who: Montreal Impact (8th place, 9 points, 3-7-0) vs. Philadelphia Union (9th place, 8 points, 2-5-2)
What: 2018 regular season game
Where: Saputo Stadium, Montreal, Québec
When: Sat., May 12, 3:00 pm ET
Watch: PHL17, ESPN+
Whistle: Kevin Stott; Brian Dunn, Jeremy Kieso; Silviu Petrescu; Younes Marrakchi

Let me tell you a little bit about my childhood.

I, like most kids, had my share of action figures. They weren’t encased in cardboard and plastic, pristine relics sitting on a shelf. They were cracked and scratched, bruised an battered by imaginary battles of which I was the puppet master.

Leonardo would emerge from the sewers with his twin katanas to claim the heavyweight belt from Hulk Hogan. A tuxedoed Bruce Wayne had to best Venom without the help of his utility belt.

It’s why superhero movies can capture an audience of millions. My inner eight-year-old cried out in glee as Captain America squared off with Iron Man in an abandoned airport and rejoiced when The Incredible Hulk battled the God of Thunder in an alien coliseum.

These moments give us the one thing we all crave to see: the immovable object versus the unstoppable force.

But what happens when that object can be blown over by a whisper? How about when that force can be halted by a feather?

That question will be answered on Saturday when Philadelphia Union play Montreal Impact. No team has scored fewer goals than the Union’s six. No team has allowed more than the Impact’s 24.

Both sides will be playing their third match in a week, with both coming off 1-0 defeats Wednesday night– Philadelphia to Columbus and Montreal to Chicago.

These are not two good soccer teams. The only question is which club’s feeble will gives way to the other’s.

Scouting report: Montreal Impact

It hasn’t been the ideal start for first year manager Rémi Garde. The silver lining is the Frenchman has already equalled the three wins he achieved in his last job with then English Premier League club Aston Villa. Unfortunately, he’s lost the other seven games in charge of the Impact.

Montreal’s struggles stem from a porous back line. No club has allowed more than 20 goals, save for the Impact. It’s surprising considering the emphasis the team placed on the back line during the offseason.

Four new center backs were brought in to compete with Montreal mainstay Victor Cabrera. While Zakario Diallo was lost for the year because of preseason injury, the high-profiled acquisitions of Rudy Camacho and Rod Fanni, he of Olympique Marseille fame, haven’t paid off. Garde has tried different combinations of defenders and three, four, and five man back lines, but nothing has stemmed the tide of goals.

Fortunately for the Impact, they have the most underrated player in MLS on their team. Ignacio Piatti isn’t just the best player on their team, he’s their everything. Piatti already has five goals and six assists on Montreal’s 14 team goals. It means the Argentine has contributed on an astonishing 79% of the Canadian club’s tallies.

Any hopes of stopping the Impact starts with stopping Piatti. Unfortunately, that’s something no one can really seem to do.

• Injury report. OUT: Zakaria Diallo (D, ruptured Achilles tendon), Kyle Fisher (D, tibia), Marco Donadel (M, gluteal muscle injury), David Choiniere (M, ankle surgery)
  QUESTIONABLE: Rod Fanni (D, thigh)
• Suspended. None.
• International duty. None.

Scouting report: Philadelphia Union

As far as a predictive measure, the Union’s opponent has been secondary to the location of the game.

If the match isn’t being played at Talen Energy Stadium, it’s safe to say the Union won’t take three points. In fact, Philadelphia have failed to win 28 of their last 29 road games dating back to Aug. 24, 2016.

Somehow, 2018 has been worse. Not only have they lost all four of such games this season, but they are the only team in MLS that has yet to score a goal on the road.

In Columbus, head coach Jim Curtin chose to deploy a nearly identical starting lineup to the one that was embarrassed in Toronto. The result was no different.

The eleven players on the field have looked lost both creatively and mentally. In the last 180 minutes of action, the Union looked as likely to score 100 goals as they were to score 1.

Maybe Curtin will say, “the third time is the charm.” Given his track record, it’s probably likely. But what the manager needs to do is make changes.

Midfielder Haris Medunjanin hasn’t been the same player as he was in 2017. No. 10 Borek Dockal doesn’t look the part of the highest paid player in franchise history. Winger David Accam has, well, been disappointing. No one is questioning that these are three immensely talented players, but they need a break both mentally and physically.

Play homegrown midfielder Derrick Jones. Let him crash into challenges with crunching tackles. See if Anthony Fontana can add another goal to his impressive debut. Maybe Jay Simpson needs more than 511 minutes to prove he’s not a bust.

It’s time Curtin to give chances to others. Let them show if they can play with a fire and a passion that’s been lacking. Some time on the bench isn’t going to break the spirit of the veterans. If it does, they’re not the players you’d want on the field in the first place.

• Injury report. OUT: Richie Marquez (D, sports hernia surgery)
• Suspended. None
• International duty. Matt Real (U.S. U20s)

Player to watch

Anthony Jackson-Hamel

Montreal forward Anthony Jackson-Hamel is a homegrown that’s been around the block. Debuting in 2014, the 24-year-old hasn’t really cracked into a consistent job, mainly resigned to a substitution role. Even this year, Jackson-Hamel has only started three games. Yet since the start of 2017, only Atlanta United’s Josef Martinez and New York City FC’s David Villa has posted a better goals per 90 than Jackson-Hamel’s 0.76. He makes an impact when he’s on the field.

Prediction: Montreal Impact 2-1 Philadelphia Union

Nothing lasts forever. Eventually the Union will score away from home. There’s no better team to bet they’ll do it against than the Impact. As far as a victory? Until Philadelphia can prove they can win on the road, don’t be foolish and assume they win.